How To Deal With Toxic Family Members, Friends, & Others
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Articles by Patricia Jones, M.A.
How to deal with toxic individuals:
If you are experiencing toxic individuals in your life,
* Be comforted in the fact that you are not alone. Every person walking the earth knows at least one toxic person in their life. The toxic person may be a family member, friend, associate, workmate, or boss, etc. Toxic individuals come in all shapes and forms. They can be old, young, rich or poor. It does not matter what their background is. Realize that until you stop allowing a toxic person to hurt you and your life, they will continue to do so.
* The most important thing to remember is that you have the power to stop a toxic person. You do this by controlling your own actions and reactions. As you already know, you cannot control the actions of other people. But you can control yourself and your life. You have the power to walk away from a toxic person and not allow them into your life anymore. Freedom is a wonderful and liberating experience.
* Realize that toxic individuals can drain your health, energy, well being and sanity. It helps to move away from toxic individuals and move towards people who are positive and uplifting. Positive people are a blessing.
* Stop all contact with these types of people who hurt you and move towards those who love you and make you feel good about yourself. Remove yourself as their "target." Get out of their "radar range." This is one of the best gifts you can ever give to yourself.
* Remember that toxic people are extremely negative, nasty, miserable, whiny, jealous, inconsiderate, selfish, criminally minded, mentally ill, judgemental, evil, etc. The toxic individual exudes the dark side of human nature all of the time.
* A toxic person will cause other people pain, craziness, and aggravation. They are simple to recognize. Just take notice of how you feel when you are around one of these individuals. It will be easy to determine. You will immediately feel sick and may even experience physical symptoms like a headache or stomach pain. Or you will just feel like you are going crazy, and have lost control of the situation. When you feel this way, this is a clue that they are toxic to you.
* Know that when a person is toxic it is because of their own issues. Sometimes these issues can be attributed to mental illness. Accept that a toxic persons behavior has nothing to do with you, and it is "their" problem, not yours.
* In life, each of us has to take responsibility for our own actions. Toxic individuals do not do this. They have a habit of turning things around so that you feel bad, you feel guilty, and you feel like you are at fault. Remember that when dealing with a toxic person, they are responsible for their own actions, but often do take that responsibility. Realize this and you take back your power.
* The best thing you can do when dealing with a toxic person is to walk away from them and not allow them to hurt you anymore. If you cannot walk away, then mentally walk away. You can do this by realizing that they have the problem not you.
* Allow yourself to disengage, disassociate, and detach. Detachment is a process of not caring. It is something you do for yourself. It is a mental skill that takes some time to learn at first, but once it is mastered, it can help you to become stronger mentally and physically. Detachment is a necessary skill for preserving your own mental health. Detaching from people and situations that are not good for you is healthy and can help you to feel better.
* When dealing with toxic individuals remember that exercise is your best friend. Exercise relieves both mental and physical tensions. It helps the body to produce healing chemicals that will repair your body and help you think more clearly. Exercise also encourages the release of endorphins, chemicals that relieve pain and help you to feel good both mentally and physically.
* Most importantly develop supportive relationships with your life partner, friends, family, workmates, and associates. Talking things over with the people in your life who love and care for you, can help you to overcome the negativity of these toxic individuals. Just as animals and children instinctively can sense when someone is good or evil, the people who love you are very good at recognizing when someone is toxic and hurting you. Loved ones are a good defense against toxic individuals because they can offer you good advice and support for eliminating negative influences in your life.
If you would like help or advice on how to deal with the toxic individuals in your life, please do not hesitate to contact me via email or telephone counseling. See below for instructions on how to contact me.
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