One of the hardest jobs in the world is to be a single parent. And usually that job falls to the mother. If she is already employed then the adjustment is not as severe since she already has a steady job and income. Then it is just a matter of making sure she gets adequate child support and alimony. However, if she was a full time mother and home-maker when the divorce occurred and she had no outside income, or training or skills, then it can be devastating because not only will she have to find a job and/or go back to school for training, but she probably will still not make enough to survive without further support, either from her ex-husband, her family, or the state.
In addition to that, mentally and emotionally, it is very hard to raise children without a father around. Children need the guidance and role models from both parents in order to develop in a normal way. Unfortunately though, when a divorce has happened, it is a strong indication that one or both of the parents were not good role models to begin with. And sometimes it is a blessing that one of the parents IS out of their child's life because they were physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive to their children and also to their mother.
A single mother can return home to her parents according to the Bible.
The Bible teaches that if a woman is left by her husband or is widowed by her husband, that she is to be taken back into her parental home for love and support. Her family is supposed to help out by allowing her and her children to come back to her father's house. This is in fact happening today as many marriages are falling apart and many women are returning to their parents home.
Some women are very fortunate and have a supportive and loving family who is only too happy to help her in every way. But there are others, who resent the return of the daughter and her children, and who see it as a huge interruption and a great financial burden and inconvenience of their time and money. God though, states in the Bible, that "whoever does not take care of their own family is worse than an infidel."
Single mothers need all of the support they can get.
God has also promised children that HE would be a "Father to the fatherless." Meaning that when your earthly father has let you down, your heavenly father has not. And I have found this to be true, that many times, when you least expect it, God supplies a male role model for fatherless children.
In order for a single-parent home to survive the transition from what was, to what is, to what is to come, changes have to take place
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. "Great is His faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23). Even when you are a single parent, you are never alone. God is faithful and His mercies are new every single morning, no matter what season.
If you are experiencing difficulties as a single parent and would like some hope and encouragement, please do not hesitate to send me a Long or Short Question, concerning your situation and together we can work towards a more suitable solution. Or you may choose to schedule a Telephone Counseling Session with me. You may contact me by following the directions below. I will reply back to you within 24 hours to 48 hours.
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Single Parent's Prayer
Reviewer: A reader
Author, Gary Richmond, is a pastor and leads a divorce support group based in CA that has been in existence for more than 10 years. His sound advice is practical, heart-felt, and INVALUABLE! One could say that the book's 16 chapters fall into three major areas of support: (1). the parent & family in crisis...what's happening to us and how to survive, (2). 6 chapters focused solely on the children's responses (age specific), what you can do to give them the emotional support needed, and God's promise of help, and (3). processing it all, healing, moving on. There's also a bonus that I've NOT found in the numerous books about divorce I've read so far, and that's the section of FORGIVING...God's and yours! It's the firm foundation of your future victory and your children's! Be gentle with yourself; get this book and another: "Helping Children Survive Divorce" by Dr. Archibald D. Hart. You would not have read this far if you didn't truly want the best for your children despite the divorce. You will all be changed; it's your job to accept healing from God and to channel that to your children. Excellent "Single Parent Bookshelf" at the end listing books on various topics of concern to (single) parents where one can look for additional information. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book!
Amazon.com
Single moms haven't had many books to turn to in times of distress. Most parenting guides either moralize to her or ignore her altogether. Patrice Karst has righted that wrong with The Single Mother's Survival Guide. The book is obviously designed to console--and fast--the poor mom who has once again dragged the baby into the bathroom with her because she literally cannot get a moment alone. Flip open to any page and you'll find earthy bits of inspiration, with a consistently (but not sickeningly) positive slant on childcare, dating, and other facts of single-mom life. Karst never loses her tenacious hold on the realities of parenting: on her list of "Reasons to Be Happy About Being a Single Mom," the first one is "because it's happening." It's a treat to read a book so completely on the side of the mom. Karst rants against busybodies and smug marrieds: "The next person who says to you, 'Well, when you learn to be perfectly content and happy with yourself and aren't looking for a relationship--then you'll find one,' slap them for me, will ya?" So the advice isn't exactly revolutionary: love the kids, take a bath, ask for help. Still, this volume makes a fine companion piece (just ignore the workbook at the back) to the bible of single-parenting, Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year. --Claire Dederer
Book Description
In this engaging journey of self-discovery, Patrice Karst, a single mother, shares her practical yet witty advice with single moms everywhere. She covers a wide range of topics that concern the modern woman struggling without a mate, showing how it's possible not only to survive but to triumph. The book features dozens of quick "survival checklists" on topics such as dealing with exhaustion and reasons to be happy about being a single mom. Karst's "Ten Commandments for Single Mothers" begins with "Thou shalt not be afraid to ask for help from anyone at any time (because the offers sure as hell won't come in by themselves)." The Single Mother's Survival Guide also includes wisdom and inspiration for the single mother, touching on goals and dreams, affirmations, and gratitude.
Amazon.com
It's no news that being a single parent is not an easy row to hoe, especially not to the 13 million individuals in the United States who currently find themselves in that role. What is news is that there is now a book that offers real assistance on a variety of pertinent issues. There are chapters on communication and house rules, family dinners and quality time, job burnout and business trips, realistic budgets and how to have a social life while still providing responsible, loving parenting. With scads of quotes from single parents on their frustrations, solutions, and general experiences, it's a support group in text form. It's full of advice, which means there's lots that will be helpful and pertain to your specific predicaments, and plenty you'll pass right over as not applicable to you. And it's a resource book, addressing the concerns expressed by the over 500 single parents Noel surveyed, with hundreds of topics and tips, as well as references for further support.
Wade F. Horn, Ph.D., President, the National Fatherhood Initiative
At last! A parenting book for the single parent written from a man's perspective. Entertaining and devoid of psycho-babble, this book offers a highly personal account of the struggles every single parent faces, with lots of practical tips for helping children grow up to become well-adjusted adults. A must read for those embarking upon the challenge of single parenting!
Book Description
Children who grow up without a father's positive influence, regardless of the circumstances (that might include divorce, death of a spouse, out-of-wedlock birth, or adoption) are: Five times more likely to be poor, twice as likely to drop out of high school, three times more likely to become unwed teen mothers, more likely to end up in foster care or juvenile-justice facilities, more likely to grow up unemployed, incarcerated, or uninvolved with their own children.
Is it true that a father's positive influence is essential to the welfare of his children? If so, why? What are his parenting values, his traditions, and his beliefs?
If you would like advice or counseling from Patricia Jones there are three methods that you may choose from:
1.) Long Question For a fee of $45.00.
A long question should contain background information and list any concerns or questions that you have about a particular issue or issues. It may be as long as
you wish. I will reply back to you via email with an extensive response ( several pages in length ) within 24 to 48 hours. See an example of a Long Question here.
2.) A Short Question: For a fee of $25.00. A short question should give some background information and ask one question about one particular issue that you may have. I will reply back to you via email within 24 to 48 hours.
