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Articles by Patricia Jones, M.A.
Just exactly what is a Mama's Boy?
A Mama's Boy is a man who has not broken the apron strings with his mother. He is in a relationship with another woman or is married to another woman, BUT his mother is the one who receives most of his time and attention.
He will call her at least once or twice a week with whatever exciting news he has, or any disappointments that he has. She will know as much about the news as his wife does, and maybe even more than his wife does. He shares the same things with his mother that should only be shared with his wife.
Evil Mother-In-Law/Mama's Boy
You may think it is harsh to think of someone's mother as EVIL, but the reality is that some mother-in-laws are just that. And being married to their sons or being in a relationship with the sons of such mothers puts you in a very precarious position. Almost a "catch 22" position. And because of this, these types of MIL's are able to destroy marriages.
Malicious intent refers to the intent, without just cause or reason, to commit a wrongful act that will result in harm to another. It is the intent to harm or do some evil purpose.
In the case of evil MIL's their evil intent is to get their sons to divorce you or break up with you. And the weapons that they use to do this are as follows:
Weapons that MIL's use to destroy your marriage or relationship:
1.) They are VERY NICE to their sons at all times never ever disagreeing with them about anything. Even when they do really disagree with them they will never let their sons know it.
2). They pretend to like you to their sons and never say anything against you to them. But when their sons are not around they treat you badly. They ignore you when you speak, they answer any attempts you make at conversation with either a yes or a no or a short abrupt reply that does not encourage further discussion. It does not matter what the topic is, they cut you off at the knees with some rude, sarcastic, cold, condescending comment. When their sons, or your husband returns to the room they all of a sudden start talking to you, smiling at you, or engage you in a conversation to make it "appear" to their sons that they are getting along with you.
3.) They show absolutely no interest in you as a person. They don't ask you questions about your life, your family, your job, etc. It is as if you do not exist. If you do try to say something about your life they immediately change the subject or look like they are bored, so you quit talking.
4.) If you do say something, just in general, like to your husband, they make some snide comment about whatever you have just said, even when it has nothing to do with them and was not directed at them. A perfect example of this would be if you were at a restaurant and you made some observation about the people a couple of tables away. Instead of turning around to see what you are talking about, your MIL says "Oh, leave them alone, they are just having fun" implying that you were judgeing them when you were not, and that you need to be corrected.
5.) In fact they either correct or contradict just about anything you ever say. You could be talking about the weather being cold, and they would say " I am not cold, it is just perfect outside" or you could be talking about politics or some world event or some television show and whatever your observation or comments are about any of those, the MIL will take the opposing view.
In fact, she may even say to a direct question that you have asked her about one of the above situations that "she is not interested" or "she never watches that show" etc. The point being that whatever you say she will either contradict, refuse to answer, make a snide, sarcastic, cruel remark about, or just completely "put you down."
6.) She catches you "off guard" with some of her "underhanded remarks" OR she comes right out and says that "she is doing something" just when you are doing the opposite. An example of this would be you are going to the movies with your husband and she is tagging along. As you get up to the food counter you ask for a small popcorn and a coke. She immediately says (so her son can hear of course)
"I am not going to get anything as the cost of the movie was expensive enough" or something to that effect, calculated to make you look like a "pig" to your husband and like you are spending money unwisely and that she is being frugal.
7.) They make promises to you that they never intend to keep in the first place. Like saying "they want to take you out to lunch" but then you never hear another word about going out to lunch. In fact they never do anything with you at all.
They do not send you a birthday card, or buy you a present on your birthday, and any Christmas gifts are for your husband alone, even though they will tell you that "this is for both of you" when clearly it is something that they know your husband wants and you never showed an interest in the item in the first place.
If your husband confronts them about forgetting your birthday they feign that they FORGOT IT, and then you get this belated mushy card in the mail a couple of weeks later with all kinds of insincere comments written in the card. And then the next year they "forget" your birthday AGAIN!
8.) They many times will make sure to bring up the ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, or something in their son's past that of course would make you uncomfortable. They will even go so far as to compliment the ex on something that they admired about her and that they know you do not do.
9.) When you are alone with them in a room there is COMPLETE SILENCE because they completely ignore you and never ever start a conversation with you. Which makes it very hard for you to just sit there in stoney silence so you find yourself asking her something about HER LIFE just to keep the conversation going until your husband/boyfriend returns. And when you do this you get rude, short, curt answers that shut down any conversation that you might have had. So you pray for your husband to return as soon as possible to end the SILENCE.
10.) They are nice and super friendly to everyone else in the room, other relatives, other people, so that they appear to be normal, while at the same time completely ignoring you. They also do not introduce you to their friends so you sit there like a bump on a log knowing full well that the other people present are wondering who you are.
Your husband's or boyfriend's reaction to all of the above:
Well, what usually happens is he refuses to believe anything negative that you have to say about his Mother. In fact he will accuse you of "making things up in order to start a fight", exaggerating what she said or did, being too sensitive, or calling you a psycho for even thinking such terrible things about his mother.
This of course is EXACTLY what MIL wants to happen. This is why she so carefully disguises in front of him how she really treats you so that when you complain to him about her bad treatment of you he will not believer you. This is because she very rarely EVER does this stuff in front of him. So you come out looking like a liar, a trouble maker, paranoid, or completely off balance.
Evil Mother-In-Laws have a goal and an agenda:
Her goal is to get you out of her son's life and permanently back into hers. She sees him as the husband she never had, the man who will take care of her in her old age, the replacement for her dead husband, the main man in her life. YOU are coming between her and him in her mind. As long as you were just someone he was casually dating you were not a threat, BUT when he made a committment to you, put a ring on your finger and actually married you, then you became public enemy number one. Bluntly put, she is VERY JEALOUS OF YOU.
You find yourself in a horrible position
Your MIL has purposely treated you badly so that you will complain about her to her son who she knows will NOT BELIEVE YOU and get mad at you instead. She knows that this will cause you to fight, and she is hoping that your husband will become so disgusted with you for not liking his mother or bad mouthing his mother that he will divorce you or break up with you because of this. The reality is she has "set you up" to be the target of your husbands wrath while she sits back and plays "miss innocent" who "has no idea why you don't like her because, as she tells your husband, "she really loves you." And the worst part is he believes her and not you.
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