BooksTemperament

I tend to be very skeptical of any book that smacks of 'self help,' but "Please Understand Me" has been one of my most frequently referred-to books ever since I bought my first copy five years ago. I don't ordinarily push books onto friends and family, but somehow or other I can never keep myself from INSISTING that others read--and, most importantly--USE it.

I've always known I'm a kook, but never really understood why. I took the Kiersey Temperament Sorter in the front of the book, and found that I am split between INTP and INTJ, two of the rarest personality types. Most of my family members are SPs and SJs--small wonder they think I'm a wacko! And no wonder I kept thinking they were uptight, or lacking in imagination. No wonder they don't get my jokes (which are not really jokes--and if you don't get that, you need to read this book <laughs>).

The light "Please Understand Me" has cast on my relationships with my family and friends has been of inestimable benefit. Sure, my ESTP father drives me nuts, but now I understand why, and it allows me to step back and say, "that's how he is--consider this before tearing off on a rant, will you?" It also helps me understand why I am so close to my INFP kid sister, but fought constantly with an ISTJ ex-boyfriend. By understanding how the different types relate to the world and the people around them, it is easier to understand why they behave as they do. It becomes easier to be more compassionate. Rather than lashing out in irritation and frustration because I assume I know why someone is acting the way he or she does, I can use what I know about the Myers-Briggs types and try to see the world through that person's eyes. Some very problematic relationships have been profoundly changed for the better, as a result.

I recently bought "Please Understand Me II," and recommend it as a companion volume; it expands on the ideas here, and is gives more in-depth analysis of the types, but this is really where you should start if you're interested in Myers-Briggs. If you're stuck at Christmastime, wondering what to get your family members, maybe you could give everyone a copy of this book. Get them to take the personality test, and compare notes--especially with people you've never really gotten along with. What better gift than mutual understanding?

This book is EXCELLENT. Every parent needs to read it.

I have 5 children and this book has helped me so much to see

what makes my children different, and has enabled me to accept

them just as they are. Just one example-my third son has always seemed to be lazy. He is just not motivated to work. I used to worry that I was raising a lazy adult but this book showed me that he is a phlegmatic, and phlegmatics tend to be that way! They find the shortest way to do things and are unmotivated to get their work done. I now understand my little guy and why he is like he is-I can accept him as living according to his temperament. I could give several other examples.

This book is practical in that it lists the strengths and weaknesses of each temperament and gives ideas for parents on how to raise their children according to how they are. I loved that it pairs up the different combinations of parents and children.

I could go on and on but suffice it to say that I read the book in just a couple of days and learned so much that it's changed the way I relate to my children. I even learned much about me and also about my husband.

It's a fascinating, practical, life-changing book. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Now I'm off to read her book for adults, "Personality Plus". :)

At first, I had a love hate relationship with this book. I sensed that everything in it was true, yet I wasn't ready to face it. Once I got past my denial, I began using it as a reference book for all of my relationships.

THE GIVERS & THE TAKERS in not just about boyfriend and girlfriend issues. The information is relevant for any relationship: mother/daughter, friends and co-workers. A great read.

When I'm troubled over relationship issues, I can usually find some insightful piece of wisdom that reminds me that I'm giving too much to someone. And, I learned that Takers exist because Givers focus more on other people than on themselves.

I've always wondered why my relationships failed to meet my expectations? The "light bulb went on" after reading "The Givers and the Takers." An easy read, the book provides the reader with thirty defining traits for the two personality types. After studying them, I learned to recognize the traits and apply the remedies suggested in the book to improve my relationships. If you want clarity in your relationships this is the book for you. I highly recommend it.

I've read a lot of books on marriage and I have to say that this is the best! I really appreciate the relevance of this book to married life. It helps you realize that you have no control of other people (namely your spouse) but you do have a say in who has control over you ... and this should be the Holy Spirit. Tim Lahaye shows you how you can live a Spirit filled life and deals with real struggles like fear and anger ... letting emotions control you and hinder the Spirit's work in your life.

A lot of times in dealing with marriage issues we focus on dealing with the issues of our spouse ... Tim shows how we need to deal with ourselves and give our marriages and our spouses to the Lord.

I also appreciate the way he incorporates the personality types in this book. It is important to realize that we all were wonderfully designed by God DIFFERENTLY.

In addition to this book I would highly recommend reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I thought these two books work wonderfully together in teaching about our differences, as well as how to meet our mate's needs, be obedient to God in marriage, and have a more fulfilling marriage relationship.