Practical, realistic, and upbeat advice--from sharing a bathroom to initiating conversations--for people who "inherit" children along with a new spouse.The success or failure of a stepparent to bond with stepchildren can make or break a new marriage.But this book has a refreshing message--it is possible to achieve longlasting, rewarding relationships with your new children.Most stepparents feel caught in a bind because in order to connect with their stepchild, they have to reach out--but not too much, too little, or too deliberately.And relationships with stepchildren are inherently different from those with biological children who love their parent unconditionally.But these 7 basic steps will give you the essentials, from deciding what kind of stepparent you want to be to realizing that love comes later.AUTHORBIO: Suzen J. Ziegahn is a clinical psychologist and writer specializing in stepfamily issues.She also has over 12 years of experience in the administration of mental health services, serving as Director and CEO of mental health systems in the Midwest.She is a member of the American Psychological Association, and the stepmother of two children.She lives in Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin.
About the Author
Suzen J. Ziegahn is a clinical psychologist and writer specializing in stepfamily issues. She has over 12 years of experience in the administration of mental health services, and has served as the CEO of a large mental health care system in the Midwest. Her shorter work has appeared in publications such as Psychologist Today. She is a member of the American Psychological Association, and the stepmother of two children. She lives in Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin with her family.
By Lisa Cohn "co-author, 'One Family, Two Family... (Portland, Oregon) -
I read this book as a biological parent and a stepparent. I really appreciate the author's deep and compassionate understanding of the primitive connection between parents and their biological children in stepfamilies-a connection that can leave stepparents feeling like outsiders. Because the author honors this important bond between divorced parents and their kids, she does a beautiful job of explaining the incredibly complex nature of relationships in stepfamilies. I love the author's warm, personal approach and her ability to create empathy for all members of a stepfamily. She does a great job of helping stepparents view the world from their partners' and stepchildren's point of view. She also offers very helpful tips about how to bond with stepchildren, including sample conversations about difficult topics. The bonding tips include "Conversation Starters That Get Stepchildren Talking" and other creative ideas. This book is a gold mine for stepparents!
Lynne Oxhorn-Ringwood and Louise Oxhorn were the best of enemies for ten years. Then they learned how to put the struggle behind them and unite for the sake of raising a great kid. Dubbed the original "co-Mamas," Lynne and Louise write from experience about their struggles to understand, communicate and get along. They partnered with family therapist Marjorie Vego-Krausz to assemble this book and their ten step program for moving your stepwife relationship beyond antagonism.
One of the things that I liked about this book is that it pointed out - in glaring honesty - the natural hostility found in the stepmother/ex-wife relationship. So often many of us, bruised by awkwardness, just don't want to admit that we are two women trying to share a space originally carved out for one. So we dance politely sidestep the true issues, all the while misunderstanding what the other says and layering onto our relationships years of acrimony and pain.
Louise and Lynne describe the turf battles familiar to many stepmoms and ex-wives. Lynne is the ex-wife of Greg - Louise is the woman who replaced Lynne. Lynne describes going into a rage when Louise would volunteer at school with her son Evan's class. Lynne recalls feeling like Louise was just waiting "to pounce" on her and reclaim her old life. How can the two get along?
The first thing the authors do is offer some subtle vocabulary switches. Let's be honest - when you hear the words ex-wife and stepmom together in a sentence your first thought is cat fight. "Step-wife" is a term coined for the book and used interchangeably for both stepmoms and ex-wives when both are being discussed together.
So how do the "step-wives" keep the peace? According to these former family warmongers, it's not easy to bury the hatchet and get along, but they've devised a ten-step plan (known by the acronym PRESCRPTON) that can yield results:
P - Put the kids first.
R - Respect each other.
E - Empathize and acknowledge feelings.
S - Set limits and boundaries.
C - Claim your own baggage.
R - Remember realistic expectations.
P - Problem-solve.
T - Talk and communicate effectively.
O - Organize consistently.
N - Nurture yourself.
Book Description
Book Description
Book Description
Those who expect a blended family to be just like a first-time family will be disappointed. Blended families are even more challenging. Couples bringing two families together should count the cost and be highly educated about the process. Far too few adults know how to co-parent well, address anger issues, or set healthy boundaries. Maxine Marsolini's workbook discusses topics common to all blended families. This well-planned series of lessons considers outcome thinking not just crisis management. She adds insights to unforeseen emotions, children's issues, and the added conflict between homes.
About the Author
Maxine Marsolini is a pastor’s wife and speaker, and a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors, CLASS, and Oregon Christian Writers. She’s the author of Blended Families by Moody Press and has published articles in magazines such as Decision and Bible Advocate. Maxine and her husband have survived 29 years in a blended family and share seven children.
This book is AWESOME!!
I can't think of a better book to put into the hands of relatives or friends intertwined in blended family positions. It's honesty and encouragement make it a MUST have.
I believe that this is a book that will benefit the entire family.
Packed with encouragement, possibilities, and truth. It's wonderful to see a book finally written with a biblical point on this subject. This author nailed it! The subject is a "touchy" one and yet MUST be discussed in order for all families to heal and unite!
I would highly recommend this book & workbook to all that are in blended situations like us.
I thought that this book was fantastic. I could not put it down once I began to read it. I did not feel at all that this book was "in your face religious." If you are a Christian who trusts in the Lord, then this book is a reminder that God never gives you more than you can handle. This book covers all aspects of being a stepmom from beginning all the way through the rest of your life. I now use it as a reference for when I have rough days, and need a little bit of encouragement. This should be the very first book that every step mother ever reads!!!
